The Farting Apple Tart

I was planning to detonate the walls of my blog with a piece of my precarious mind.

Now that is what I turn out to do if I seldom think for a few days...  I mean a few months...  to be honest a couple of years.

Looking back, I have realized that my mind has stopped functioning.  
It is as if my mind is eternally doped.

So one fine day, that is yesterday morning, I decided to bottle up all my thoughts and dump it on the walls of my blog.

What if there is an earthquake or a tsunami?

All my haters would know what I was thinking before I shook hands with Death ( I am going to come back for you remember that).  

I dream of Tsunami everyday so eventually there are ample chances that I might go dive in the sea someday and pretend there is a tsunami.  (With my crazy mind, anything is possible.)

Now getting back to my thoughts.

I chose a topic "The Farting Apple tart”.

I seldom remember what I was going through in my mind at that point in time.

May be I thought fart and tart rhymed...  now how lame is that?  

I googled “The Farting Apple tart” and the response I got were way beyond my league of writing ,thinking or even imagining.

Nevertheless, I retained the title as I found it completely irrelevant to what I wanted to say and it is such a controversial way of getting back.

I finally decided to pen my thoughts in my blog on a weekly basis apart from the contributions from the constructive part of my mind (which has whisked away to Oblivion Island) that excretes poetry and sober stories.

In the meantime I made a startling discovery.

God had blessed me with Intelligence of Body and Intelligence of Mind .

And unsurprisingly both hate me.

Their modus operandi is inversely proportional .

My body harbors fat and my mind forfeits  thoughts. 

I have no choice but to rely on the opinions of my well-wishers who happen to be the "I am not so interested in you" type, in the whole wide vicious world  .

To keep me from sinking deeper into the eternal nincompoop-ness I have decided to put all my irrelevant, meaningless ,stupid ,random and inappropriate thoughts in writing, to see if someone or anyone across the world shares my medical (I mean metaphysical )condition.

This is more of a prologue to my forthcoming posts just to warn my very few readers of what is awaiting them.

As far as the topic is concerned, lets presume the Apple tart is my mind and it has an upset stomach ( or mind or kidney..whatever). 

The most important thing is “this is not my take on humor” .
I seriously believe I do not have a sense of humor or sense and humor.  
Any permutation and combination of these two words I do not have them.

So Kindly cut down the “Oh this is not funny, it’s so lame, meaningless and boring” comment..

I have never tried to be funny or sensible.. I don’t know how to be that or do that...  I do not even know what it is or how to make it...

This is the blog of a grave person devoid of friends and trusts her web site will do that for her.

Why I chose a blog over a diary?

The reason is innate...  I misplace things and my daughter loves tearing books.

I need to have my thoughts documented from time to time precisely because given the global unrest and potential war situation what if someone finds my blog after the Third world war..  And few decades from now..  The EIGHTH graders textbook shall have my blog posts.. Now how cool is that…